With riots raging in Ferguson, Missouri following the shooting death by police of an unarmed African-American youth, the nation has turned its eyes toward police brutality, social injustice, and the continuing crisis of race relations throughout the U.S. Here are The Onion’s tips for being an unarmed black teen in America:
Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas.
Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated.
Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing.
Explain in clear and logical terms that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen.
Don’t let society stereotype you as a petty criminal. Remember that you can be seen as so much more, from an armed robbery suspect, to a rape suspect, to a murder suspect.
Try to see it from a police officer’s point of view: You may be unarmed, but you’re also black.
Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.
Revel in the fact that by simply existing, you exert a threatening presence over the nation’s police force.
Be as polite and straightforward as possible when police officers are kicking the shit out of you.
“buffleheadcabin said: I’ll bet the CB 750 spoiled you for Harleys. Sure did for me.”—
Naw, I think my next bike will probably be a Sportster as I get the feel back. I loved the Honda but it was a bit tall for me and not much of a cruiser for the long trips that I was partial to. Like any thing over 30 years old it had some issues. So, I am excited to try something different.
My moms are giving me a bunch of shit for going for the Harley. They both ride imports… Text from them the other day read:
"I’d rather ride my Suzuki than trailer your Harley."